Great Sales and Marketing Ideas: Random Crap for Sale

I check woot.com everyday for two reasons.

They inspire me to write good copy. Seriously. If you need a boost in the creative rear (pun intended) woot.com is a great place to go.
I like seeing what the deal is-because it changes daily.

So when they were selling a bag of crap today I was intrigued.

What? How-can-you-sell-that? Has the world gone mad?

Nope.

Check out the copy that they wrote.

Bag O’ Crap XXI

Wait, wait, why are you clicking that button? Don't click! You don't want this junk. Seriously, clicking that I WANT ONE button is a one-way ticket to disappointment and shame. You'll cram a few useless clumps of consumer flotsam into your life, be out like eight bucks, and for what? For what? What is the sound of one hand crapping?

If you must proceed, CHECK THIS OUT. Somebody misunderstands this concept every time, so please READ THE BIG PRINT:
1. WHEN YOU ORDER THIS ITEM, YOU’RE ORDERING ONE (1) BAG WITH up to THREE (3) PIECES OF CRAP IN IT.
2. YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR SELECTING THE QUANTITY: THREE WHEN YOU ORDER.
3. YOU WILL WASTE FREIGHT IF YOU ORDER FEWER THAN THREE. And you’ll get less crap. Wait, why is that bad again? Do you people really need more crap?

You’re only getting one bag, no matter what. The order quantity you select is the number of crappy items we’ll put in your bag. Select THREE. Later, you’ll enjoy the satisfaction of taunting the surprisingly large number of less observant Wooters who ordered less than THREE.
As usual, we promise nothing about the quality or the desirability of these bags or their contents, except to promise that their quality will be low and their desirability will be non-existent. The best quantity you could possibly order would be ZERO.

THE HOLY CRAP COMMANDMENTS v2.0:
I. Thou shalt expect nothing beyond one bag of some kind and your chosen quantity of crappy items (which should be THREE).
II. Thou shalt not whine and complain when some people’s crap turns out to be nicer than yours.
III. Thou shalt take a moment to consider whether you might be better off just not buying this crap.
IV. Thou shalt not order just one crap and blame it on anything but your own inattention.
V. To paraphrase Stephen Stills, shalt thou not get the crap you want, want the crap you get.
The crap will be shipped via SmartPost, the crappiest shipping method available to us.

So you saw what they did there right?

First of all its woot.com, they have built a reputation with their customers that they are unique, they are not for everyone, and they are perfectly happy with that.

But look at how the marketing department addressed this problem (because honestly selling a bag of crap is exactly that).They didn't see the problem of selling the bag of crap, they only saw a problem of how many items can they convince someone to buy. So they just starting closing the sale right in the description.

Wow. What a great concept! They got this internet thing down perfectly.

Here's why.

I went to the website with the idea that I more than likely would buy something if it was cheap.

A $1 is cheap and really $3 bucks isn't much more, so yeah. Sign me up, I'll take 3.

So rather than trying to sell me, the moved in for the kill right away, and just closing the sale by telling me I need to make sure there is 3 in quantity of the order. And if I don't put a 3 in the quantity I am stupid and getting taken advantage of.

Wait. I am not stupid, I know that I can order 3. I'll show them, I will put 4 in the quantity and press checkout!
Rats! Its already sold out. Now I really want one! Hang on. One what? One bag of crap that someone else just bought? Yup. Now I feel left out.

Here's an idea for you...
When was the last time you prematurely went for the jugular right away with a sale? I work with salespeople everyday, and every day I see them being very timid about closing the sale.

Stop being timid!

Go in for the kill, worst case scenario they will say NO. But in that 'No' your going to find out a key hurdle you needed to overcome a while ago. So now you can start addressing it.

Now, I wouldn't advise you to tell your customers you think they are stupid. But you should know that people don't like to feel stupid. So perhaps we should point out how smart other companies have been because they bought your product.

So what have we learned.
If you have a great reputation you can sell crap in a bag. Check that, you can sell out of crap in a bag.And we need to take a page from woot's book and start closing the sale sooner. They went in for the kill on a bag of crap--and sold out. If they can sell out of crap, why can't we sell the out of the best product in the world?